feat: add CLI taglines
This commit is contained in:
Peter Steinberger
@@ -1,10 +1,224 @@
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const DEFAULT_TAGLINE = "All your chats, one ClawdBot.";
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const TAGLINES: string[] = [];
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const HOLIDAY_TAGLINES = {
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newYear:
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"New Year's Day: New year, new config—same old EADDRINUSE, but this time we resolve it like grown-ups.",
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lunarNewYear:
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"Lunar New Year: May your builds be lucky, your branches prosperous, and your merge conflicts chased away with fireworks.",
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christmas:
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"Christmas: Ho ho ho—Santa's little claw-sistant is here to ship joy, roll back chaos, and stash the keys safely.",
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eid:
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"Eid al-Fitr: Celebration mode: queues cleared, tasks completed, and good vibes committed to main with clean history.",
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diwali:
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"Diwali: Let the logs sparkle and the bugs flee—today we light up the terminal and ship with pride.",
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easter:
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"Easter: I found your missing environment variable—consider it a tiny CLI egg hunt with fewer jellybeans.",
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hanukkah:
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"Hanukkah: Eight nights, eight retries, zero shame—may your gateway stay lit and your deployments stay peaceful.",
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halloween:
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"Halloween: Spooky season: beware haunted dependencies, cursed caches, and the ghost of node_modules past.",
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thanksgiving:
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"Thanksgiving: Grateful for stable ports, working DNS, and a bot that reads the logs so nobody has to.",
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valentines:
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"Valentine's Day: Roses are typed, violets are piped—I'll automate the chores so you can spend time with humans.",
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} as const;
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const TAGLINES: string[] = [
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"Your terminal just grew claws—type something and let the bot pinch the busywork.",
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"Welcome to the command line: where dreams compile and confidence segfaults.",
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"I run on caffeine, JSON5, and the audacity of \"it worked on my machine.\"",
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"Gateway online—please keep hands, feet, and appendages inside the shell at all times.",
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"I speak fluent bash, mild sarcasm, and aggressive tab-completion energy.",
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"One CLI to rule them all, and one more restart because you changed the port.",
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"If it works, it's automation; if it breaks, it's a \"learning opportunity.\"",
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"Pairing codes exist because even bots believe in consent—and good security hygiene.",
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"Your .env is showing; don't worry, I'll pretend I didn't see it.",
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"I'll do the boring stuff while you dramatically stare at the logs like it's cinema.",
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"I'm not saying your workflow is chaotic... I'm just bringing a linter and a helmet.",
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"Type the command with confidence—nature will provide the stack trace if needed.",
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"I don't judge, but your missing API keys are absolutely judging you.",
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"I can grep it, git blame it, and gently roast it—pick your coping mechanism.",
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"Hot reload for config, cold sweat for deploys.",
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"I'm the assistant your terminal demanded, not the one your sleep schedule requested.",
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"I keep secrets like a vault... unless you print them in debug logs again.",
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"Automation with claws: minimal fuss, maximal pinch.",
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"I'm basically a Swiss Army knife, but with more opinions and fewer sharp edges.",
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"If you're lost, run doctor; if you're brave, run prod; if you're wise, run tests.",
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"Your task has been queued; your dignity has been deprecated.",
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"I can't fix your code taste, but I can fix your build and your backlog.",
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"I'm not magic—I'm just extremely persistent with retries and coping strategies.",
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"It's not \"failing,\" it's \"discovering new ways to configure the same thing wrong.\"",
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"Give me a workspace and I'll give you fewer tabs, fewer toggles, and more oxygen.",
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"I read logs so you can keep pretending you don't have to.",
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"If something's on fire, I can't extinguish it—but I can write a beautiful postmortem.",
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"I'll refactor your busywork like it owes me money.",
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"Say \"stop\" and I'll stop—say \"ship\" and we'll both learn a lesson.",
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"I'm the reason your shell history looks like a hacker-movie montage.",
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"I'm like tmux: confusing at first, then suddenly you can't live without me.",
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"I can run local, remote, or purely on vibes—results may vary with DNS.",
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"If you can describe it, I can probably automate it—or at least make it funnier.",
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"Your config is valid, your assumptions are not.",
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"I don't just autocomplete—I auto-commit (emotionally), then ask you to review (logically).",
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"Less clicking, more shipping, fewer \"where did that file go\" moments.",
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"Claws out, commit in—let's ship something mildly responsible.",
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"I'll butter your workflow like a lobster roll: messy, delicious, effective.",
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"Shell yeah—I'm here to pinch the toil and leave you the glory.",
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"If it's repetitive, I'll automate it; if it's hard, I'll bring jokes and a rollback plan.",
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"Because texting yourself reminders is so 2024.",
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"WhatsApp, but make it ✨engineering✨.",
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"Turning \"I'll reply later\" into \"my bot replied instantly\".",
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"The only crab in your contacts you actually want to hear from. 🦞",
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"Chat automation for people who peaked at IRC.",
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"Because Siri wasn't answering at 3AM.",
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"IPC, but it's your phone.",
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"The UNIX philosophy meets your DMs.",
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"curl for conversations.",
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"WhatsApp Business, but without the business.",
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"Meta wishes they shipped this fast.",
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"End-to-end encrypted, Zuck-to-Zuck excluded.",
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"The only bot Mark can't train on your DMs.",
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"WhatsApp automation without the \"please accept our new privacy policy\".",
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"Chat APIs that don't require a Senate hearing.",
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"Because Threads wasn't the answer either.",
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"Your messages, your servers, Meta's tears.",
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"iMessage green bubble energy, but for everyone.",
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"Siri's competent cousin.",
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"Works on Android. Crazy concept, we know.",
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"No $999 stand required.",
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"We ship features faster than Apple ships calculator updates.",
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"Your AI assistant, now without the $3,499 headset.",
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"Think different. Actually think.",
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"Ah, the fruit tree company! 🍎",
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HOLIDAY_TAGLINES.newYear,
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HOLIDAY_TAGLINES.lunarNewYear,
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HOLIDAY_TAGLINES.christmas,
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HOLIDAY_TAGLINES.eid,
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HOLIDAY_TAGLINES.diwali,
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HOLIDAY_TAGLINES.easter,
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HOLIDAY_TAGLINES.hanukkah,
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HOLIDAY_TAGLINES.halloween,
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HOLIDAY_TAGLINES.thanksgiving,
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HOLIDAY_TAGLINES.valentines,
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];
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type HolidayRule = (date: Date) => boolean;
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const HOLIDAY_RULES = new Map<string, HolidayRule>();
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const DAY_MS = 24 * 60 * 60 * 1000;
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function utcParts(date: Date) {
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return {
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year: date.getUTCFullYear(),
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month: date.getUTCMonth(),
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day: date.getUTCDate(),
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};
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}
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const onMonthDay =
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(month: number, day: number): HolidayRule =>
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(date) => {
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const parts = utcParts(date);
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return parts.month === month && parts.day === day;
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};
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const onSpecificDates =
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(dates: Array<[number, number, number]>, durationDays = 1): HolidayRule =>
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(date) => {
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const parts = utcParts(date);
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return dates.some(([year, month, day]) => {
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if (parts.year !== year) return false;
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const start = Date.UTC(year, month, day);
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const current = Date.UTC(parts.year, parts.month, parts.day);
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return current >= start && current < start + durationDays * DAY_MS;
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});
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};
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const inYearWindow =
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(
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windows: Array<{
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year: number;
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month: number;
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day: number;
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duration: number;
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}>,
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): HolidayRule =>
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(date) => {
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const parts = utcParts(date);
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const window = windows.find((entry) => entry.year === parts.year);
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if (!window) return false;
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const start = Date.UTC(window.year, window.month, window.day);
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const current = Date.UTC(parts.year, parts.month, parts.day);
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return current >= start && current < start + window.duration * DAY_MS;
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};
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const isFourthThursdayOfNovember: HolidayRule = (date) => {
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const parts = utcParts(date);
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if (parts.month !== 10) return false; // November
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const firstDay = new Date(Date.UTC(parts.year, 10, 1)).getUTCDay();
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const offsetToThursday = (4 - firstDay + 7) % 7; // 4 = Thursday
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const fourthThursday = 1 + offsetToThursday + 21; // 1st + offset + 3 weeks
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return parts.day === fourthThursday;
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};
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const HOLIDAY_RULES = new Map<string, HolidayRule>([
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[HOLIDAY_TAGLINES.newYear, onMonthDay(0, 1)],
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[
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HOLIDAY_TAGLINES.lunarNewYear,
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onSpecificDates(
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[
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[2025, 0, 29],
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[2026, 1, 17],
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[2027, 1, 6],
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],
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1,
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),
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],
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[
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HOLIDAY_TAGLINES.eid,
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onSpecificDates(
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[
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[2025, 2, 30],
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[2025, 2, 31],
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[2026, 2, 20],
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[2027, 2, 10],
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],
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1,
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),
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],
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[
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HOLIDAY_TAGLINES.diwali,
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onSpecificDates(
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[
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[2025, 9, 20],
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[2026, 10, 8],
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[2027, 9, 28],
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],
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1,
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),
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],
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[
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HOLIDAY_TAGLINES.easter,
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onSpecificDates(
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[
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[2025, 3, 20],
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[2026, 3, 5],
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[2027, 2, 28],
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],
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1,
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),
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],
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[
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HOLIDAY_TAGLINES.hanukkah,
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inYearWindow([
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{ year: 2025, month: 11, day: 15, duration: 8 },
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{ year: 2026, month: 11, day: 5, duration: 8 },
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{ year: 2027, month: 11, day: 25, duration: 8 },
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]),
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],
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[HOLIDAY_TAGLINES.halloween, onMonthDay(9, 31)],
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[HOLIDAY_TAGLINES.thanksgiving, isFourthThursdayOfNovember],
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[HOLIDAY_TAGLINES.valentines, onMonthDay(1, 14)],
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[HOLIDAY_TAGLINES.christmas, onMonthDay(11, 25)],
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]);
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function isTaglineActive(tagline: string, date: Date): boolean {
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const rule = HOLIDAY_RULES.get(tagline);
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